27 Weeks

Dear Elzora,
This is what your baby brother or sister looks like inside my belly this week.
I hope you are enjoying a nap filled with sweet baby girl dreams.
Love,
Mommy

Holiday Card Guilt

Dear Elzora,
Yet another customized holiday card arrived in the mail today. I LOVE them, and I feel like a big lame-o for not making one of you and sending it out. The truth is that mommy and daddy have had the same holiday cards for 3 seasons now and we haven't sent any of them out except for one to Auntie Liisa. But daddy said we are going to make a Christmas email with a picture of the 3 of us... I have my doubts. Sorry, Daddy!

Here is a picture of you, Pappa Andreas and Siri from last year. Poor Siri has been sick for 2 weeks with a fever. We sure hope she gets well soon. I think she is going to have a lot of presents to open from Santa!! We love you Siri!

I have a lot more to write about, but I'm am kind of thinking that a might do a big holiday post after the holidays. I will definitely take pics of the adorable customized holiday cards we receive this year. So far we have one from Molly & her moms, Becca Baby Superstar and Lil' Wilgot.

Yesterday was Grandma Mary Jo's birthday. When I called she was out for dinner at Ponderosa with your Auntie Jessie and cousin Kayla. I've never been a big Ponderosa fan, being a vegetarian and all, but man I miss American food and could surely do some damage to a plate of mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese from the Ponderosa buffet. Maybe it's the pregnancy.

Love,
Mommy

All the World is a Kitchen

Dear Elzora,
This picture is from a month ago, but you are still very interested in whisking.
In fact, you were just whisking for about half an hour this morning. I didn't have the heart to tell you that you can't really whisk a raisin, but these are the sort of things you will figure out as you grow older.

I love you very, very much.

Love,
Mommy

Love for All

Dear Elzora,
I never thought I would see a commercial like this on TV!
Yeah, Björn Borg!!
Love,
Mommy

Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!

Dear Elzora,
I just wanted to tell you that I love your baby giant toes!!
Love,
Mommy

PS It's Daddy's Birthday!!

Who are the People in Your Neighborhood?

Dear Elzora,
Our neighbor, Susanne, was recently interviewed by a reporter from the Borås Tidning.
In the article she talks about her move from Stockholm to Ulricehamn, her work, her family (Erica and Molly) and her wonderful neighbors (us!).
These are the people in your neighborhood, and they are terrific!

Love,
Mommy

Letter to You in Utero

Dear Elzora,
I was looking through a pregnancy memory book that I never filled out when I was pregnant with you and I found something very interesting. It was a letter that I wrote to you before you were born. Since I am probably never going to complete the book, or maybe I will use it for the new baby since he or she will not have her own blog, I thought that I would include it here for you to read one day.

May 15, 2007: The Night Before you California Ultrasound

Dear Sweet Baby,

Tomorrow I am having an ultrasound to try and figure out if you are a boy or a girl. Daddy and I are so excited! I am visiting Auntie Liisa and Uncle Jeremy in San Jose, California. Today Liisa and Jer found out that they are also going to have a baby. Our hearts are so filled with love and joy and excitement. It's a very special time for all of us.

Whether you turn out to be a boy or a girl, I know that I will love you more than I've ever loved anything in my entire life. I can't wait to be your mom! I love you so much.

Daddy will be on the phone during the ultrasound appointment. He is at home in Sweden. I will have the video camera, so that one day you will be able to watch the video of what you were like when you were only 7-12 inches long.

It's the best feeling knowing that you are cozy and safe inside my belly.
Sweet dreams, little one.

xoxo

Love,
Mommy

UPDATE:

You are a girl!
They gave me a DVD after the ultrasound, so I didn't have to use the video camera.
Liisa and Jer's little baby wasn't quite ready for the world, yet. But I am very, very, very happy to report that Liisa is currently pregnant and has just reached the 2nd trimester and we are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of little baby boy Duggan in the spring/early summer... just after your little brother or sister is due to arrive.

Halloween and other Tricks & Treats

Dear Elzora,
I am a bad, bad mommy. I have not written in a while and so much has been happening!!
We celebrated Halloween, we lit candles on the graves of our loved ones for All Saints' Day, Barack Obama was elected president of the US (Thank, GOD!), Prop 8 Passed (gag me!), we celebrated Father's Day here in Sweden (you bought your dad a remote control Ferrari), Brooke Smith was fired from Grey's Anatomy and we celebrated farmor Bojan's birthday. So the last few weeks have been incredibly exciting and historical and dissappoining all at the same time.

You are fantastic!! You dance all the time and say a whole-lot of things that only you really understand. We have so much fun and you are so beautiful and just a little, precious, laughing, baby star!!

I hope you enjoyed halloween. Daddy carved 2 "pumpkins" just for you. They were the only ones we could find on Halloween in Ulricehamn.

Love,

Mommy

PS Here is a short interview with Brooke Smith on abrupt dismissal from Grey's Anatomy. This is just ridiculous. I hope she gets her own show!!

Ulricehamn Tidning Birthday Announcement

Montessori & Birhtday Revisited

Dear Elzora,

Sorry I haven't written anything in the last couple of weeks! Mommy and daddy have been busy trying to figure out where and when you are going to start preschool. We put you on the list for a school just 2 weeks after you were born, knowing that we needed a place for you when you turned 1 year old. After some surprisingly frustrating moments, I'm happy to inform you that in February you will be starting at the beautiful Montessori school just down the road from our home. Mommy and daddy just fell in love with the little school when we went to visit and we know that you will just love it there, too. The best part is that mommy will get to stay home with you until February... so the fun continues. I'm just thrilled to have this time with you, my little princess girl.

I didn't write anything about your actual birthday day, but it was just fantastic. I woke you up singing Happy Birthday, which you weren't too pleased about but we had a delicious scrambled egg breakfast to make up for it. Then we were off to the baby singing group. They sang Happy Birthday to you in Swedish and we had a super good time. After, that we went with Jessica and Baby Becca to Rhodos and you had some of your very own cheese pizza and so did Rebecca. After the pizza we went to the toy store and I bought you a little toy cell phone that you really loved and a metallic stuffed frog that is very very heave and really not meant for anyone under 5, but it was so adorable I had to get it. After we walked home, you got a book club order with some really cool books that you loved (one book had a toy horn that actually honked) and we went out to dinner at a restaurant on the lake. You barely made it through dinner without falling asleep. I think it was the combination of all the heavy food, new tastes and fun... but it was your first birthday and I wanted you to go crazy. Or maybe I wanted to go crazy. I'm not sure. But it was a great birthday day and you looked so cute in your little Juicy Couture outfit and pink Converse. You are the most beautiful little girl inside and out.

By the way, the ultrasound for Baby Yeah Yeah (your name for the new baby) was awesome. I could have watched the screen forever. He/She looks happy, healthy and cozy. The midwife says she is due to arrive on March 22nd, but they predict that I will go over the due date again, like I did with you. So maybe your new little brother or sister will arrive in April? It would be nice if Baby Yeah Yeah arrived on the 22nd, because it's Pascha's birthday. Mommy's birthday is March 30th, so that would be fun, too. We are all very excited.

More soon.

Love,

Mommy

PS You have a whole bunch of teeth coming in now!

Baby Vampire Girl

Dear Elzora,
I wanted to let you know that both of your fang teeth are coming in just in time for Halloween.
Spooky!!!
Love,
Mommy

1st Birthday Party! Party!

Dear Elzora,
On Saturday we had your very first birthday party extravaganza. I know that you won't remember it, but let me tell you that it was a party that many others will not forget, especially mommy.

The day started out a little rough, because you dropped a gigantic Buddha statue on your foot and I thought you had broken a bone or something. But luckily I was wrong and you just bruised the tip of your toe and your little nail bleed a little. Ouchie!

I can't believe the Buddha statue fell on your toe on your 1st birthday party day! We have always called you our Little Buddha Belly and we even bought you a gold necklace for your first Christmas with a Buddha charm. After you werer born, Auntie Liisa gave us some info about people born in the Year of the Pig: "People born in the Year of the Pig have a splendid quality about them.... Their energy grows and accumulates. This is often expressed in a rotund figure, even a little pot belly. In traditional Chinese culture, as in the figure of the Laughing Buddha..." So I'm considering it a kind of a cosmic crash. Auntie Liisa also gave you a Buddha birthday card. Maybe you will be a Buddhist?

Speaking of religion, during your party we also had your name giving ceremony. Most babies in Sweden are baptized when they are born. Making a commitment to a specific religion is a a huge decision and mommy and daddy weren't prepared to make that decision for you. Besides, it was perfect the way we did it and true to us. I wrote the ceremony down on paper and you can read it one day. And we also captured it all on video. You can see how nervouse mommy was and tease her about it.

During the ceremony we announced that Oskar Karlsson is your god father. Oskar's father is daddy's god father and it was very important to him to keep up this tradition. And mommy likes it, too. Oskar gave you a very beautiful angel necklace that was made in Finland. It's just perfect. It is something you will have forever.

You got sooo many cool presents! You are actually playing with the wooden train made of blocks that you got from Oskar's parents as I write this. You got lots of blocks and Legos which have been keeping you very very busy. Farmor and Farfar gave you lots of gifts including a hot pink CD player for your pink and black room. Linda, Morgan and Siri also gave you lots of wonderful gifts including a little doll named Faith that a little girl in South Africa designed. Linda also made you a book that people cool write in to commemorate your first birthday celelbration.
Daddy gave you a wooden ant that holds and egg that you can pull around. I think Auntie Liisa had the same one. Liisa and Jer sent you a Juicy Couture outfit from the US... and I'm totally jealous. You'll be wearing that on Thursday, your actual birthday day. And who knows, maybe you will even get more presents?

One of the most interesting presents you received at your party came form Suzanne, Erica and baby Molly. They gave you your first tennis racquet! Suzanne is a pro tennis player and she has vowed to teach you how to play. Mommy is very excited. I hope that it is something you enjoy.
On the day of your birthday party Suzanne and Erica came home form the hospital with baby Molly. So you also got a new little friend for your birthday. Welcome home, Molly!

You looked so cute at your party. You had a little pink ballerina outfit. You looked like a little baby princess. Unfortunately we didn't take very many pictures at the party, but we videotaped the entire event. I will check with Auntie Linda to get some pictures to send to everyone.

Thank you to everyone who helped us celebrate Elzora's first birthday. We love all of you so much. A special thank you goes out to Wilgot and Rebecca for helping Elzora open all of her birthday presents. And an extra special thank you goes out to Farmor, Farfar, Linda, Morgan and Siri for helping us not only with the party but helping us so very much all the time. We love you.
And Liisa, you know!!

Love,

Mommy

PS Don't feel bad that you don't like cake or sweets. :) We'll try again on your next birhtday.

A Poem for Elzora

Dear Elzora,

You've changed the way I measure time.
Hours, minutes, seconds...
no longer exist. Only
first teeth, first words, first smiles.

And each new sunrise electrifies
the sky with colors
I see for the first time.

Autumn, Summer, Spring
don't bring snow, rain, or changing leaves
but a chance to see
your pumpkin cheeks rose-red
on a crisp winter morning.

And like you, I feel new, too.
A new soul. A new heart. A new being.

Thank you, Elzora, for the re-awakening
to the celebration
that is this life,
our life,
our family.

I love you.

Mommy

(I wrote this for your name giving celebration and first birthday party tomorrow night. I'm so excited. I'm leaving now for my ultrasound appointment.)

Walk Like an Egyptian!

Dear Elzora,

Yesterday was an amazing day. You woke up like any other morning, but there was one huge difference. Overnight you had acquired the ability to WALK!! And I don't mean, you can kind of take a step. I mean, you can walk. We met Jessica and Rebecca at the family center (BVC) for baby singing time and you walked right through the circle of mommies and babies. I still can't believe it. It's probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. I am so proud of you.

You've also started to give us kisses. When daddy left for work the other day you gave him a kiss, then he gave me a kiss, then you gave me a kiss. I thought I would melt. I will take as many kisses as you can give me.

Dancing! Dancing! Dancing! You are a dance-aholic. We watched Aunt Linda and Uncle Morgan's wedding video last week and you rocked back and forth through the entire ceremony and reception. You dance with the TV, you dance when we sing, you dance when a cell phone goes off and you bang your head when we are driving in the car. Rosemary says she doesn't think you are going to be a rockstar but sees you as more of a blues girl. I don't know, I think you are a rocker. We'll just have to wait and see!! In the meantime let's dance!!!

I guess it's time for me to tell you that you are going to be a big sister next year. But I think we will talk more about that after we have had the ultrasound and hear the baby's heartbeat on October 3rd. I'm very excited and feeling pretty good. I'm in week 13, so my energy level is rising and my belly is feeling better. I'm just so happy for our family.

Daddy is working so hard and getting used to his new job at H&M. I think he will be very, very happy with this company. Mommy will not be going back to her job. I'll be home with you full time until November 1 and then you will be going to daycare for 15 hours a week if they have a spot for you. You are going to love love love it. I know. And mommy will go to SFI to try to actually learn Swedish, so that I can get a really super duper cool job after the new baby comes.
It's all exciting.

So you do actually walk like an Egyptian. Well, you walk like a baby mummy and I figure that's close enough.

It's soon your birthday! Party! Party!

Love,
Mommy

Missing Michigan

Dear Elzora,
I can not believe that we've already been back from Michigan for a week and that it's been almost one month since my last blog entry! In my defense, we have both been massively jet lagged since we returned from Michigan last Sunday. I mean, it's fun sleeping in, but it's no fun staying up until 1am watching Sesame Street videos. But as of yesterday, I feel like we are getting back on track.

So, Michigan... What a fabulous trip we had!!On the first day mommy and daddy went canoeing on the Au Sable with Susan and Russ. The weather was perfect and it was so great to just relax, get a little exercise and catch up with an old friend on her birthday. You stayed at home with Grandma Mary Jo and the girls. You had fun playing in the little mushroom pool, but you definitely missed mommy and daddy and wouldn't let us out of your site for the rest of the trip.

We had a wonderful time staying at Grandma's house. She and the girls just loved you and daddy, and they bought you so many cool presents. I already mentioned the mushroom pool, but you also got tons of clothes, a gigantic bag of plastic balls, books, Barbies, a doll house and lots more. You are definitely a very loved little girl.

Without a doubt the best part of the vacation for you, Elzora, was spending time with your good friend Ruby Stirling!! And mommy and daddy definitely enjoyed spending time with Ruby's parents. We did lots of eating, shopping and hanging out. We celebrated Ruby's first birthday with her and the two of you had a great time splashing around in the tub and playing with Ruby's toys. We also made a trip up to Bel Air to Brian's parents' amazing lake house. Daddy learned about beer-can chicken, which he made for Linda, Morgan and Siri last night here in Ulricehamn. We also got to see ultrasound pics of the newest Stirling who is scheduled to be born on November 11th. Very, very exciting!! Congrats to Pascha, Brian, Zoey and Ruby!!

We also spent some time with Grandpa Mac and his wife Marilyn. And they loaded you up with gifts and clothes, too. And Grandpa Mac made you your very own swing that you just loved. They also hosted a BBQ for us and it was so much fun. Marilyn made all kinds of food. It was quite the spread. And best of all some of mommy's oldest and dearest friends showed up. It was so great to see Ronnie and his family, Markey and Nikki, Brent Church and his new BMW and Karen and her girls. We couldn't have asked for a nicer get together. And you had watermelon for the first time and just loved it. You weren't in a very good mood at the BBQ, but I know why because the day after the event your 7th tooth broke through on the bottom. Ouch!!

Daddy's one request during our trip was that we visit the town of Gaylord. He saw it on the map before we left Sweden. At first I was a little puzzled as to why daddy would

be so excited about going to a town called Gaylord. But he explained that he had to go because of Gaylord Focker. We actually had a very nice time walking around the city of Gaylord with it's faux Alpine motif. A man at a store called Trash told us that there weren't any gay people in Gaylord and invited us to be friends with him on myspace. 

I really thought you were going to take your first step while we were in Michigan, but it didn't happen. You were so, so close. I know that you will be bipedal by the end of this week. I just know it. BTW, you will be 11 months old tomorrow. It's hard to believe that we are only 1 month away from your 1st birthday. I can't wait to see what happens when you get to try ice cream and cake for the first time. I told daddy that I wanted to take you out for sushi on your first birthday, but he's not that into it. I mean, come on, you already eat pickled herring!

Thank you so much to Grandma Mary Jo, Jessie, Miranda, Kayla, Pascha, Brian, Zoey, Ruby, Grandpa Mac & Marilyn, Danielle & Tessa, Karen and the girls and Susan & Russ for making our first to Michigan as a family one kick ass adventure (don't say "ass" Elzora!)

Love, Mommy

10 MONTHS!

Dear Elzora,

Weight: 9125 grams (20 lbs)
Length: 72.5 centimeters (28.5 inches)
Head Circumference: 48 cm

On Saturday you turned 10 months old and now things are really starting to happen!!

You understand the words lamp, Mamma and Pappa. If I ask "Can you say Mamma?" you always reply "Pappa." You only say Mamma when you want more of something. If we ask you "Where is the lamp?" You point up. Sometimes mommy and daddy are cruel because we ask you where the lamp is when we are outside. Sorry, Elzora!

You can crawl and pull yourself up to standing, and you can stand up without holding on to anything, but your aren't quite ready to take your first step. I understand, it's scary.

You are exploring lots of new foods, but you don't really care for baby food. You like the stuff you can eat on your own like strawberries, hard egg yolks and pieces of broccoli, carrot and cucumber. I still give you formula in the afternoon, because I want to make sure you are getting all your nutrients and you don't drink very much water. You haven't had anything with sugar added, and I think we will keep it that way as long as we can. You have plenty of time for your Saturday candy in the future.

For the last 4 nights we've been putting you in your bed when you are still awake, usually around 9pm. On the first night you cried for 35 minutes. On the 2nd night you cried for 40 minutes. And on the third night you cried for one hour. But last night you fell asleep in 5 minutes. This is probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. We go up about every 15 minutes and check on you, but we don't lift you out of the bed. You have your music box and your lovely pink flower light. It's hard, but I know it's the best thing. I'm sorry that I made the mistake of putting you to sleep before putting you in your bed for the first 10 months of your life. Bad, mommy!
But once you are asleep you sleep all night, almost 12 whole hours. Thank you, my sweet girl!

Mommy is busy this week preparing for our big trip to Michigan!! So exciting. We are leaving on Sunday morning. I'm so thrilled that you are finally going to meet your Grandma Mary Jo, Granpa Mac, your Aunties, your cousin and Pascha and her family.

We are getting our new car today at 4 pm. Daddy can't wait. For him, today is like Christmas.

The Olympics are happening in Beijing. Sweden won it's first medal yesterday in the women's cycling event. Emma Johansson took the silver. Congratulations, Emma!

I love my little 10 month old Monk-Monk!!

Love,

Mommy

We Heart LSMonkey and Auntie Sarah!

Dear Elzora,
Not only did Sarah make the lovely dress that you are wearing in this picture, she was selected as Spraygraphic's Pic(k) of the Day!
Congratulations, Sarah.
Rock out with your art out!
Love,
Mommy

B-Cool with B-Fuel!!

Dear Elzora,
As I said in my last post, the three have us have been at home together for the last 2 weeks. It has been so nice to just relax and enjoy our little family. We didn't really do much, because we are saving up for our trip to Michigan on August 17th.

Today daddy went back to work. He has two weeks left at his current job and then he starts at H&M after our trip to the US. Mommy has been carefully studying the new H&M catalog so that I'm ready to shop when we get our H&M Club card!

We actually spent much of the last 2 weeks at the Volvo dealership here in Ulricehamn trying to make a decision on which new car to purchase. We need a bigger car and we want something environmentally friendly since daddy may be driving to Borås a few days every week starting in September.

We decided on black Volvo v70 b-fuel ride. We're so in love with it, and we aren't even getting it until August 12th. I am really happy that we went for the biogas vehicle. We were considering an ethanol vehicle, but after doing my own research, I feel that biogas is the better choice for our family. When we took the car for a test drive your daddy said "I just feel so good in my heart!"
I knew at that moment this was the car for our family.

Here is some information on b-fuel (biogas) and ethanol use here in Sweden.

Svensk Biogas
The Swedish Biogas Success Story
FordonsGas
Sustainable Ethanol Deal for Sweden and Brazil

Love,

Mommy

Hairlarious

Dear Elzora,
I promised myself that I would not become one of those mothers who puts the little pony tail on top of her baby's head when the poor child has like 10 hairs. Well, yesterday I broke that promise.

Tomorrow papa goes back to work. He's been home for 2 weeks on vacation. It has been extremely warm and the 3 of us have just been taking it easy and enjoying the lovely Swedish summer weather.

Your super powers are starting to reveal themselves. Did I tell you I was electrocuted while I was pregnant? I'll write more about it tomorrow when daddy goes back to work.

I love you, Elzora.

Love,
Mommy

Get Up, Stand Up!

Dear Elzora,
Just a short update to let you know that on the afternoon of July 19th, 2008 you stood up on your own for the very first time. You were in the caravan in Varberg and you were leaning over on papa and you stood up to clap your hands. I almost can't believe that it really happened. Everyday with you is more and more exciting and interesting. You are the coolest, chica!
Love,
Mommy

Elzora Longstocking

Dear Elzora,
Maybe it's something in the water? I don't know, but you are definitely starting to identify with the Swedish culture.

Actually when this picture was taken you were tired as hell, had food all over you and were completely uninterested in having a wig on your head. But, as always, you were a good sport about the whole thing.

Not much is happening on this quiet Monday morning. Dad is at work, you are asleep and I'm having a hard time waking up. Our new neighbors moved in, Susanne and Erika, and they are so nice. They are expecting a baby on September 19th, so soon you will have a new little friend. Mommy is very excited.

You were due to be born on September 23rd of last year (I'm sure that I've already mentioned this in a previous entry), but you weren't born until October 9th. Hopefully the little one next door won't wait so long to make her/his appearance.

You just woke up!!

Love,
Mommy

E.L.C.K.

Dear Elzora Liisa Corazón Karlsson,
When we decided on your name we didn't even realize that your initials kind of spell the word "ELK." This is funny considering mommy's nickname was Moose when she was little. My grandmother, Norma Mac Killop, even had a customized book order for me titled "Moose Mac Killop's Adventure in Mother Goose Land." Maybe we will find it at your grandma's house, my mom, when we go to Michigan in August.
A guy named Bill Hale, gave me the name because my head was so big compared to the rest of my body.

One time Auntie Liisa told McKenna that she looked like a baby moose and McKenna started crying and didn't like Liisa for many years until she brought Uncle Jeremy over to the Channing house. Well, at least that's how the story goes.

Daddy has been talking about getting some new tattoos. I told him that it would be really cool to get a tattoo of your initials across his back with large protruding antlers coming out from the "E" and the "K." Today when I was looking up "corazón" images on Google, I found the image I have attached to this blog entry. It's titled "corazon y alce." I love that it incorporates both the corazón and the deer imagery. It's perfect.

I looked up "alce", because I didn't know what it meant. One source, THEOI Greek Mythology's Encylopedia of Greek Gods, Spirits and Monsters, says it means "The female personification of strength." Isn't that like the coolest?

BTW, your Auntie Christine came up with the name Corazón, because mommy's heart was beating so hard when I was pregnant with you. And mommy wanted to honor Christine, because she was so supportive during my pregnancy and even more supportive of my move to Sweden to be with daddy. The same is true for Auntie Liisa and that's why you have the name "Liisa."

As for the Elzora part of your name, my mother's mother's mother was named "Ione Elsora." I wanted you to have the same name, but I like the letter "Z" better than the letter "S" so I changed it. The name is Basque in origin and very, very beautiful to say.

Obviously you got the last name "Karlsson" from your papa, and I think that's a very beautiful name, too.

I love you.

Love,

Mommy

PS I've lived in Sweden for 1 year and 7 months and I have never seen a moose.

Two Days After a Funeral

Dear Elzora,
I know, not a happy title for a blog entry. But it's been 2 days since mommy and daddy attended Donald's funeral and I don't really know what to say other than it was really sad. The hardest part of the day was not saying goodbye to Donald, I barely knew him. The hardest part was seeing the people I love consumed by grief and an overwhelming sense of loss.

I read this poem again the other day for the first time and it just fit. So I'm including it in this letter to you. It's a translation of the poem 'Lyudi' that was written by Yevgeny Yevtushenko, the Russian poet in 1961. The translation was done by Peter Levi, S.J. and Robin Milner-Gulland and it was published by Penguin Books for the first time in 1962.


People

No people are uninteresting.
Their fate is like the chronicle of planets.

Nothing in them is not particular,
and planet is dissimilar from planet.

And if a man lived in obscurity
making his friends in that obscurity
obscurity is not uninteresting.

To each his world is private,
and in that world one excellent minute.

And in that world one tragic minute.
These are private.

In any man who dies there dies with him
his first snow and kiss and fight.
It goes with him.

They are left books and bridges
and painted canvas and machinery.

Whose fate is to survive.
But what has gone is also not nothing:

by the rule of the game something has gone.
Not people die but worlds die in them.

Whom we knew as faulty, the earth's creatures.
Of whom, essentially, what did we know?

Brother of a brother? Friend of friends?
Lover of lover?

We who knew our fathers
in everything, in nothing.

They perish. They cannot be brought back.
The secret words are not regenerated.

And every time again and again
I make my lament against destruction.

-- Yevgeny Yevtushenko (1961)

I purchased this collection of Yevtushenko poetry in a place called "The Bookwork" in Roscommon, Michigan for 63 cents. To me it's invaluable.

I love you Elzora!!
BTW, you are 9 months old today.

Love,

Mommy

Papa's Got a Brand New Bag!

Dear Elzora,
That's right. Papa does have a brand new bag! And hopefully mama will have some new bags too, because daddy just got a job at H&M in Borås as a testing leader. Not only will it give daddy new challenges and more money, but it will also give us 25% off at all H&M boutiques worldwide.

Papa will start his new job on September 2nd, just two days after we get back from Michigan. We are very excited.

Congratulations, Papa Andreas!!
Your girls are so very proud of you.

Love,
Mommy

Spider Monkey

Dear Elzora,
You started crawling for the first time today.
We are so proud of you. You are our little spider monkey!
Love,
Mommy

First Friends

Dear Elzora,
These are pictures of your very first friends here in Sweden. Rebecca (Becca) and Wilgot are next to you in the picture where you and Wilgot appear to be dancing. Ludwig and Jesper are the little boys pictured separately.

Becca Baby, as we like to call her, is the daughter of our very close friends Jessica and Kribban. Her other nickname is "Baby Jesus" because she was due to born at Christmastime last year.

Wilgot is the son of Anneli and Ulrik. They live on farmor and farfar's street in Timmele. Anneli teaches English and has been very kind to mommy by helping her with her Swedish lessons and by being a very good friend. Wilgot decided to be born earlier than anticipated, but he is growing up just as big and strong as the other members of your little baby posse.

We met Jesper and Ludwig at baby swim. Their moms, Anita and Anna-Karin, are friends of mommy's. Anna-Karin was a dive instructor in Cyprus and her English is fantastic. Anita has 3 other children, so she is the expert when it comes to raising kids.

Rebbeca and Wilgot are a few months younger than you and Jesper and Ludwig are a month older. When you are with the little ones, we have to be careful because you just love them and want to touch them and crawl on them and play with them.
Jesper and Ludwig love playing with you. With those two you are just one of the guys!

I'm so looking forward to having your friends over for movie nights, parties and play dates.
I hope that our home is a place where your friends will feel comfortable. I think we are going to have a lot of fun. And we already have Wii and PlayStation!!

You are pulling at my shirt, so I better get off of the computer and pay attention to you.

Love,
Mommy

Happy Birthday, Siri!

Dear Elzora,
Yesterday we went to a birthday party for our dear little Siri Luhao Wallin. Your extra special cousin is turning 3 years old on July 2nd and her mom and dad gave her a super fun birthday party to celebrate her special day.

Siri got all kinds of cool gifts. She loves horses so we got her some sweet little horses to play with and also a a charm bracelet with a July birthstone charm. She liked her gifts very much and was very excited. She also got a toy vacuum as a gift that I think was definitely one of her favorites, and the fake vacuum noise could be heard throughout the entire party. She is definitely a girl that likes to stay busy.

Siri is your extra special cousin because she came to us all the way from China. We love her very much. Siri is also mommy and daddy's god daughter. We are very proud of her. She is a strong little girl who loves life and brings a lot of happiness into our hearts.
I know you two will be very close.

This weekend was actually a very busy one. In addition to attending Siri's party on Sunday, on Friday night mommy and daddy and Auntie Linda and Uncle Morgan went to a pre-party for Rosemarie's 40th birthday next year. It was really fun and mommy and daddy had a chance to dance together for the first time. You and Siri stayed with farmor and farfar. I think that you had a lot of fun. Mommy and daddy had too much fun, but it was definitely worth it.

On Saturday the entire Karlsson clan attended Johanna's confirmation. It felt like a coming of age celebration more than a religious rite of passage and that's pretty cool. Obviously it is a tradition in the family. If you choose to be confirmed we will have a party for you, and if you don't, we will still have a party!!

You have learned to shake your head back and forth, but you can't nod your head. So you are currently saying no to everything. I think that you are about to clearly say your first word. I wonder what it will be. The strange thing is that sometimes you will hear a word and it sounds like you repeat the word, but you only say it once and then you make some other crazy baby sound. It's almost like you are teasing us. I love it!

Spain won the UEFA European Football Championship. Congratulations Spain!

And Happy Happy Birthday, Siri!

Love,

Mommy

PS In this picture Siri is wearing all of Mommy's necklaces.

Dear Elzora,
I have a confession to make. I love clothes and fashion. I love perfume and make-up and beauty products and purses. I also love jewelry, especially gold and diamonds (real or fake).

Every day at 4pm you and I sit together and watch re-runs of Project Runway. Today my favorite designer is Vivienne Westwood but it could change tomorrow. As Heidi Klum says "In the fashion world one day you're in and the next day you're out."
Last week VW had a show in Milan and used and very unique model.
I LOVE IT!

Don't worry, we may not have enough money to buy couture, but we will always be in style!

Love you,

Mommy

Trevlig Midsommar!

Dear Elzora,
We just returned from a fantastic Midsummer celebration with daddy, farmor and farfar at the sea. You enjoyed the celebration very much and tasted your first Swedish strawberries and even sampled some sill. Farmor Bojan and farfar Bengt made you a midsommarkrans to wear and amazingly you kept it on your head for quite a while. You were a little too small to dance around the midsommarstång but farfar held you and you loved watching the other children sing and dance.

Of course we were all thinking of Donald, but we turned our our thoughts of sadness to thoughts of celebration and raised our glasses to Donald. On the drive to Varberg, daddy played songs that reminded him of his uncle and we had a nice ride to the caravan. The weather was rainy but we had our little sunshine girl, Elzora!

During the trip mom was able to finish the first book of fiction she has read since you were born, Cannery Row by John Steinbeck. It was a gift from Auntie Liisa. She bought it for mommy when we visited Monterey, California. It will be in the library and you can read it when you are older. I fell in love with the characters and I'm sure that you will, too. It was wonderful to take the time to indulge in reading such a wonderfully written book.

Over the weekend you started making a clicking sound with your tongue.
You are very proud of yourself and I'm proud of you, too.

We got our tickets for Michigan. We are going to be in town for Ruby Stirling's first birthday.
Mommy is counting the days.

Love,

Mommy

We Will Miss You, Donald!

Dear Elzora,

Today is a sad day. Your farmor's brother, Donald, passed away at 12:15am this morning. He was 48 and the father of Max and Anton, daddy's cousins. Daddy is also Anton's god father, so I guess that kind of makes him your god brother, but you'll have to ask daddy because mommy doesn't know too much about these things.

He will be missed very, very much. I don't know much about Donald's life but maybe one day you can ask Anton and Max about their father. I do know that he used to take daddy fishing a lot and he is the reason why we have a Supertramp CD in our collection.

We need to be extra kind to daddy and farmor today. They are very, very sad. I hope when you read this yourself you will take a moment to say a little prayer for Donald. It will not be easy for Max and Anton. We are all thinking of them so much today.

It is important for you to know that you do have a history of cancer in your family. Please do as much as you can to educate yourself about cancer prevention and take care of your body, your heart and your mind. Daddy and I will do the best we can to help you. This is a reminded to daddy and mommy that we need to take really good care of ourselves to be the best parents we can be for our growing girl.

On the lighter side, we are leaving today to go to the caravan in Varberg. Tomorrow is Midsummer's Eve and one of the biggest days of celebration in Sweden. This will be your first chance to dance around the midsommarstång. I'm sure that daddy is already looking forward to it and we will definitely bring the video camera.

Our hearts are with Donald's family today and we will be remembering him and celebrating him during this holiday.

Love,

Mommy

PS We lost to Russia last night 2-0, but it doesn't seem to feel that bad. We will be cheering for Holland, now.

Pirates and Princesses

Dear Elzora,
This is a picture of your Auntie Liisa haivng a confrontation with an evil pirate (Aunt Debbie).
It's from Tookie Loo's princess and pirate party that she had when she turned 6 years old.

I'm thinking of Auntie Liisa a lot today, and I bet she's thinking of me, too.

I can't wait to have some super cool birthday parties for you. We are gonna have so much fun!

Love,

Mommy

Sweden vs. Spain & The Karlssons

Dear Elzora,
Last Saturday Sweden played Spain in their second match of the UEFA 2008 showdown.We also had the Karlsson family reunion. Here are a couple of pics from the event. You had a great time and enjoyed meeting all of the relatives. At this year's gathering you were the littlest Karlsson. We had a lot of fun even though Sweden lost to Spain by one goal that was scored by Spain in the final minute of the match. Sweden's next match is tomorrow against Russia. If we win, we are going to the semi-finals. Go, Sverige!

BTW, you are totally obsessed with your hair today. You keep rubbing your hands through it like you are feeling it for the first time. I think you have also discovered that your hair is actually attached to your head. I know, the human body is amazing!

Love,

Mommy

Lulubelle

Dear Elzora,
Just a quick post to tell you that your Auntie Sarah in Oakland, California just adopted a new little pup. Her name is Lulubelle and she has her own blog.
Hopefully we will get to meet Lulubelle one day!!

Congratulations to Auntie Sarah on her new baby girl!

Love,

Mommy

And then there were... 5!

Dear Elzora,
We have been up since 4am waiting for the fifth tooth to break through on the top, your first maxillary lateral incisor!
This is a picture of Tookie Loo wearing a grill mommy got from Gold Teeth Master in Oakland, California as a present for my birthday one year. I know Tookie looks a bit coo-coo pants in this picture, but that's kind of how mommy feels after last night.

I hope you feel better soon.
Even in pain, you are a sweet little tiny one.

Love you,

Mommy

8 Months!!

Dear Elzora,
This is the picture of you and your daddy that I keep in the changing room. I just love it, and so do you. Of course it seems like only yesterday that we were at the hospital, but as of today you have been an earthling for 8 whole months. It's amazing how much our lives have changed since you came. We are so happy together.

Mommy hasn't been very good about blogging. Okay, I'm a blogging slacker, I admit it! But I know that there is always room for improvement so I'll just keep at it and hopefully someone will actually start reading my blog and I will feel compelled to post more often.

So what's happening in Elzora's world? Well you now have 2 teeth on the bottom and two on the top. I think that there may be one more coming in on top, but you won't let me open your mouth long enough to get a good look. You can wave good-bye and clap your hands and sometimes you get excited and wave good-bye and then clap your hands. Maybe you are just really happy to say good-bye to some people? :)

You love listening to music and rock back and forth when you hear your favorite songs. I really need to get some new tunes for you. Mommy and daddy are starting to get a little sick of the current options. Daddy particularly likes one song from the Music Together collection called "Everybody Loves Saturday Night." He sings it all the time and sometimes it makes mommy a little crazy.

We just finished the baby massage course. I definitely enjoyed it more than you did. I have the oil and I figure that we will practice the massage techniques at home. The nurse said that it will come in especially handy when you are around 4 years old and your legs are growing really fast. I guess it can be pretty painful and the massage might give you some relief from the pain. She also said it could help you relax when you start school and when you start asking questions about death and the afterlife. It makes sense to me. I love getting massages. A massage is a great present to give for a gift on Mother's Day! I know, shameless.

In the news, Barack Obama just became the first African American presidential nominee of a major political party. Mommy and daddy are very happy and you should be proud to be 1/2 American. The next few months are going to be very exciting.

And, of course, the European Championship football tournament is happening right now. It's actually pretty exciting. Sweden plays their first match on Tuesday against Greece. I can't wait. I'm kind of nervous. I hope we win. Go Sverige!!

I can hear that you are starting to wake up. I promised you that we would go outside and blow some bubbles, so let's go!!

Love,

Mommy

PS You just got a postcard from Niagara Falls in the mail today from Liisa and Jeremy. I'll save it so you can read it for yourself one day.

Do You Know the Way to San Jose?

Dear Elzora,

Yes, you definitely do because we just returned from a month long visit with our family and friends in Northern California, which included a good long visit with Auntie Liisa and Uncle Jer in San Jose.

The trip was wonderful. You have such a beautiful personality and you charmed just about everyone you came into contact with, even on the plane rides. You were just amazing. I think many of your aunties and uncles had a hard time saying goodbye to you. As your daddy said to you last night "you just make life better."

Daddy Andreas spent the first two weeks with us in Berkeley and San Jose. We spent a lot of time with the folks at The Channing House in Berkeley, strolled around 4th street, met Jamie for lunch, caught up with a few of mommy's old work colleagues and daddy took lots of food pictures. Everyone just loved meeting you, especially Tookie Loo. Daddy was very happy to meet Uncle Strephon and pick up some new November Fire apparel.

During the first part of the trip we visited the Monterey Bay Aquarium and met the trees at Big Basin Redwoods State Park. We also spent some time shopping in San Francisco and papa got a new iPhone, which made him extremely happy.

After papa flew home, it was just the two of us, mamma and baby girl, for 2 weeks. We spent a few days at the LS Monkey Studio (www.luckyspacemonkey.com), we had dinner with Annie and Eric in SF and visited Eric at 3 Fish Studios, the studio that he and Annie founded in January 2007.

If the mission of this trip to Berkeley was to surround you with creative, fun, intelligent and inspiring people, then mission accomplished!

BTW, you are 7 months old, now. You are exploring the world with curiosity, excitement and compassion. You are so kind, Elzora and I am so proud of you. I'm looking forward to starting our baby massage class this Thursday with Mervi at the BVC.

Love,

Mommy

PS A special thanks goes out to the Lorton-Howell's, The Channing House (Amanda & Conrad), Liisa & Jer, Jamie Marks, Strephon & Heather, Sarah Chase, Eric Rewitzer & Annie Galvin, Adam Days, Rachael, Grover, Hitesh and Family, Trix & CC and Victoria and Nord. Thanks for making this such an unbelievable trip for us. We miss you all very much and can't wait to see you in Sweden, Hawaii, Belize, Las Vegas, Monaco, Egypt, New Zealand, etc.

To the Teeth!

Dear Elzora,
On March 9th, 2007 you had your first tooth eruption. It sounds like a violent act, but actually you've just been a little bit more sleepy than usual and your nose is a little bit runny. The premiere tooth is on the bottom just as the books predicted. Your daddy says you are smiling differently but he has a pretty bad flu and a high fever, so we'll see what he says once he has recovered. Farmor and Farfar are coming home from Thailand tonight. I know that they can't wait to see you and Siri. We are going to lunch with your baby friends today, so I 'd better get you dressed.

Love,

Mom

Tookie Tookie Loo, Where are you?

Dear Elzora,
Before there was you, there was Tookie Loo!
Besides you, my dearest one, mommy has some very special girls in her life and one of them is named McKenna. She lives in Berkeley, California.

When McKenna was a little girl she would make up her own words and sometimes she would just yell out "Tookie!" Eventually I started calling her "Tookie" and that name evolved into "Tookie Loo." She calls me "Tookie" and together we have "Tookie Power!" I'm certain that you have Tookie Power, too.

Tookie Loo and her mommy, Auntie Christine, came all the way to Sweden to be here when you born. But!! You decided that you weren't quite ready to be born. You were due to arrive on September 23rd, but waited until October 9th to make your entrance. I think you wanted to be born in October, just like Tookie Loo. Her birthday is on October 31st, and she is going to be 8 years old this year.

Hopefully you will get the chance to spend a lot of time with Tookie Loo.
She loves you very, very much and she is a very special girl.

We love you, Tookie Loo!

Love,

Mommy

Sweet Potato Puree

Dear Elzora,
You ate your first solid-ish food on Saturday February 16, 2008. You LOVED it and wanted more! We will stick with the organic sweet potato puree for the next few days and then the menu will be expanded to include more fascinating and delectable food items such as avocados, bananas, broccoli and eventually PEARS!!
You are my star!

Love,
Mommy

MOVING CARS PART OF DAILY LESSON PLAN

Dear Elzora,
We may not be able to put an end to war, feed the hungry, stop global warming or find a cure for AIDS. But we should definitely be able to give our teachers a free place to park.Headlines like this make me CRAZY!

Love,

Mommy

Got Milk? Nope!

Dear Elzora,
I just told the guys at my favorite pizza place that I wasn't able to breastfeed you! Sometimes I just don't know when to stop talking. Those poor guys. They must think I'm totally crazy. They probably didn't even understand what I was saying since they barely speak English and I barely speak Swedish. But still!! I wonder if I will ever get used to embarrassing myself in this country?

I had ordered a pizza with jalapeños and hot sauce and the owner asked if I was breastfeeding. Instead of just saying no, I explained to him that I had really wanted to breastfeed but that I had experienced a very long and rough labor & delivery resulting in an emergency c-section, my baby was in neonatal for a few days following the birth and that my milk never came in. Why? Why did I say this? He just wanted to warn me that the pizza was spicy hot and could affect my breast milk and your digestive system.

I know exactly why I told him these things. Everyone in the pizza place heard him ask me about breastfeeding and I just felt so ashamed that I wasn't able to feed my precious little baby. Ashamed because I know that it's the best thing you can do for your baby. And that studies show that breastfeed babies are smarter (but that's only until the age of 15 or something). And that formula could cause childhood obesity and I've always struggled with my weight.

But Elzora just know that I did try to breastfeed you for a month and I pumped for a month, so you did get a lot of breast milk. I even contacted La Leche League! It's just that you were not interested at all and you would scream and scream and finally we just had to make the decision to start enjoying our life together and not fight with each other every time you were hungry because I didn't have enough milk and you were starving. But I promise you that I will feed you the best food available for the rest of your life. I even got the book Super Baby Food from Auntie Liisa as a gift and we are starting you on solid food within the next 2 weeks!!

So I'm sorry that you weren't breastfeed, but you are strong, beautiful, healthy, smart, satisfied and you sleep through the night. And I hereby officially forgive myself for not being able to breastfeed. I did what was right for you and our family and we are the best family, ever. And with others around me trying so hard to get babies of their own, I know what a miracle it is that I was able to give birth to such a gorgeous, laughing, active baby girl.

You rock, Elzora!!

Love,

Mom

PS They guys at the pizza place still gave me a lollipop when I left. And they also gave me a free pizza when you were born. And I'm sure that you will taste your first Swedish pizza at Pizzeria Rhodos here in Ulricehamn.

UPDATE: I just have to say that I feel a bit ridiculous for writing this post in the first place, but I am going to keep it up on the blog. Elzora, you are 8 months old today and you have never been sick... not even a runny nose!! You are smart as a whip and your and you are developmentally awesome. We definitely made the right decision. xoxo Mommy

I Got it From My Mama!!

Dear Elzora,
Yesterday we went to a parenting course for FTMs at the family center. FTM is an acronym that I learned about from reading all of the pregnancy websites. At first I thought it meant "Female to Male" and it made reading the pregnancy boards on Baby Center much more exciting. But, as you probably guessed, FTM stands for "First Time Mom."

Before I left the house for the course, I realized that I probably needed money for Fika. I went in to the laundry room and got the coins that I had retrieved from your dad's jeans. At that moment I could hear my mother's voice in my head saying "Don't you take my laundry money. That's my pay for doing all of your laundry!" I had to laugh at myself.

The class was just what I needed. The other moms were so nice and so smart. They were willing to speak English some of the time and I was so thankful. Honestly, I didn't understand very much but it was just nice to be around the other mothers and their little tiny babies. We definitely all had the same energy. And of course I can't help but think about the fact that these babies will be your classmates when you get older if we stay here in Ulricehamn. It's so exciting to think about the future.

During the class you sucked your thumb and then fell asleep.
I wonder if you will be a thumb sucker just like Pascha or Tookie Loo?
I think it would be so cute. I wanted to be a thumb sucker and a hair twirler.
I also wanted to wear a retainer. Never happened.

Don't you take my laundry money!!

Love,

Mom

Liisa & The Monkey Dance

Dear Elzora,
You just had your first visitor from the USA. Your Auntie Liisa spent 11 days with us here in Ulricehamn. She brought you a beautiful Chinese dress and shoes from San Francisco Chinatown. She also brought some wonderful gifts for mommy: Peet's Coffee, red wine from California, angel hair pasta, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and some Chanel perfume. Mommy was very happy.

Liisa's visit was really amazing. You loved watching her do "The Monkey Dance" and always gave her a big smile whenever she talked to you. If I was feeding you and you heard her voice, you had to turn towards her. We all love Liisa very much. Even daddy loves Liisa, but sometimes they argue like they are siblings. Liisa is Finnish and daddy is Swedish, so they have a lot to discuss regarding their shared Scandinavian heritage. :)

During Liisa's visit you changed so much. Your hair grew longer (but you still have the bald spot on the back of your head), you got taller and you now squeal in delight whenever we talk to you.

After we took Liisa to the airport this morning we had another baby swim class. This time you dove completely under water for the first time. You didn't seem to mind at all, but you were super tired afterwards.

As a matter of fact you are still asleep. When you wake up Daddy and I will take you to get your passport photos, so we can go to California in April.

It was hard for mommy to say good-bye to her friend, but she knows she will see her again in just a few months.

I'm so proud of you Elzora. Keep on swimming!!

Love,

Mom